Not quite from The Smoking Gun, but just as interesting:


Dear [MANAGEMENT COMPANY],

I'd like to report an incident that occurred last night with another tenant in my building. I live at [ADDRESS]. This incident was with the tenants living directly below me.

I have been living in the apartment since July, 2003. Shortly after moving in, I was walking around my room and the tenants below banged on the ceiling. I didn't think anything of it; I figured that my shoes were too loud, so I removed them and forgot about it. They continued to bang on the ceiling (sounded like a broomstick) 2-3 times a month, but I chose to ignore it. I am VERY careful not to make too much noise:

1) I never play my stereo loudly
2) I always take my shoes off in my room
3) I purchased a carpet to deaden the sound of my feet
4) I TIPTOE around in the morning and evening

Late in 2003 (I don't remember the exact date), I was in my room watching TV and talking on the phone, and my roommate informed me that our neighbor (male) had knocked on our door and asked, angrily, if I was moving furniture around my room. My roommate told him "no" and asked if he wanted to speak to me. He declined and returned to his apartment. The banging continued consistently, at the same pace mentioned above, until last night. (I actually went down their apartment 2 weeks ago to confront them after they banged the previous night, but no one was home). I was putting my laundry away, (with my shoes off, slippers on, being very careful not too make any noise), and they banged on the ceiling again. I went downstairs and knocked on their door, and a female answered.

At this point, I was extremely angry (fuming is the appropriate word), and I began yelling at her. Here is a paraphrased version of my rant:

"Next time you bang on the ceiling, I will call the police. I don't know if you have ever lived in an apartment building with other people before or not, but it is customary to hear your neighbors movements through the walls and floors. I have been extremely careful about the level of noise I produce in my room; I NEVER wear my shoes in the apartment, and tiptoe around as much as possible. It is entirely unacceptable, as well as completely juvenile, to bang on the ceiling with a broomstick, which is probably causing damage to the ceiling plaster, and if you have an issue with the noise levels in my apartment, you should knock on my door and ask me about it. We do not live in a dormitory, and your behavior is entirely unacceptable as an adult, and certainly not a way to interact with your neighbors. I will be calling [MANAGEMENT COMPANY] tomorrow to report this incident, and I will contact the police next time I hear you bang on the floor; I will call it disturbing the peace. I am not interested in anything you have to say at this point, you have had 8 months to approach me about this. Good night."

While I understand they my words were severe, I believe that I have been very patient and very accommodating for the last 8 months, and I was patience had been tested.

Please feel free to contact me at [NUMBER] if you have any follow up questions.


and don't let the door hit you on the way out...